Here we go…It’s Quiz Time!

JONTY: This edition of Let’s Talk Sport will be a little bit different gentlemen – it’s quiz time! Inspired by former Star staffer Tyler Lewis who conducted one of these at the end of last season which saw Dave smack me between the eyes in a very convincing performance. I’ll test you boys to see how much you remember about each of your footy competitions in 2023. Quickly though, Marcus, best action from the weekend?

MARCUS: The performance of Jake Barclay was simply incredible at the Monbulk v Pakenham game. Narrowing it down to a single moment is hard but I will in the true essence of the segment. He had a massive front-on tackle which crunched the defender as they were trying to come out from goal. Kobe Grass took the advantage – I wouldn’t want to be Grass if he missed it, because Barclay would have kicked it. But that tackle set the tone for the afternoon and inspired his Lions.

DAVID: Is he the barometer for them? He’s been a star for along time.

MARCUS: I wouldn’t say barometer, he’s just a top player. He interchanges between the midfield and the halfback line.

JONTY: Dave, your best action, succinctly.

DAVE: Against the grain, I’m not going local this week. I know Nick Daicos annoys a lot of people with how he builds his stats, but his work-rate and skill to kick a goal from the half-back line just sums up why he’s so good. At the front of this week’s footy liftout, Tooradin coach Lachie Gillespie says the thing that stands out about new-Richmond recruit James Trezise is his work-rate…and it’s exactly the same with Daics…he’s a ripper!

JONTY: OK, I’ll say Nathan Carver kicking a couple of early goals to put the yip he had last week behind him.

THE QUIZ

JONTY: Now onto the quiz. I am going to start with some questions about my leagues, which is the league I cover to see how much you listen to me when I’m banging on about what I’ve seen on the weekend. Any preferences for buzzers?

MARCUS: I don’t want to go names because I’m two syllables and Dave’s one.

DAVE: I’ll go Pies – something ‘original’.

JONTY: And you’ll go Dons, Marcus?

MARCUS: My buzzer will be ‘Dave’.

DAVE: Laughs. Can you imagine trying to edit and understand this?

JONTY: You ready? For one point…who’s the current Devon Meadows coach?

MARCUS: ‘Dave” Ryan Hendy.

JONTY: Correct.

MARCUS: The obligatory mention.

JONTY: For two points…two local Southern League clubs have brought in new coaches which has rejuvenated their prospects and seen them become premiership contenders: name them?

MARCUS: “Dave” I’m using an old name but my young reflexes are showing out. Hampton Park.

JONTY: And?

MARCUS: Doveton?

DAVE: Ohhh, can I jump in?

JONTY: Yep.

DAVE: Dingley.

JONTY: I don’t know how to do the points for this one – I’ll give you half a point each. Stanton and Horsley.

For two points: I regard two locals as chances to win the Southern League medal this year – who are they?

**Pause**

DAVE: ‘Pies’ (reluctantly) Zak Roscoe from Cranbourne and ohhhh….he plays for Dingley, Lochie B, B , B. Nah, it’s on the tip of my tongue but I won’t get it.

MARCUS: Lochie Benton.

JONTY: Yep. Name five current Coates League players in your competitions; a point per player.

DAVE: ‘Pies’. Archer Reid, Paddy Cross?

JONTY: Mmmm, I’ll accept Cross because he played for the Young Guns.

MARCUS: Tahj De La Rue, Logan Hiscock…that might be me done.

JONTY: Riak Andrew and Sam Frangalas from Berwick, Kobe Shipp and Kade De La Rue from Beaconsfield were some others that could have been mentioned. Next question: Which Stingrays listed player did I rave about a few weeks ago for taking a ‘Leo Barry’ style mark in defence late in the game for Hampton Park, for three points.

DAVE: ‘Pies’ Jack Wilson.

JONTY: And for a bonus point, who’s his Dad and why am I asking?

DAVE: His dad is Nathan ‘Nanga’ Wilson, a previous coach at Hampton Park and great player at Doveton.

JONTY: For two points, which two Southern clubs are yet to play a home game?

DAVE: ‘Pies’ Hampton Park and Doveton.

JONTY: Who have I said is challenging Brandon Osborne for the best full back in the competition?

MARCUS: Marcus…I mean Dave.

DAVE: How are your young reflexes looking now? (Laughs)

MARCUS: Alex Windhager.

JONTY: Last one before we move onto individual questions, which Southern League club got a slew of East Gippy recruits in preseason?

DAVE: ‘Pies’ Springvale Districts.

JONTY: Now onto the individual questions, a one pointer for Dave, where did Jimmy Trezise play his talent pathway footy?

DAVE: He didn’t!

JONTY: Good get.

DAVE: You tried to trick me!

JONTY: Which Casey player, Marcus, is known as The Moose.

MARCUS: is it Mitch White?

DAVE: ‘Pies’ James Munro.

JONTY: Heading into the weekend, Dave, how many players had Beaconsfield used this season? You wrote about it last week.

DAVE: I’m gonna go 32.

JONTY: Nope, 33. Marcus, who is Berwick’s leading goal kicker?

MARCUS: Charlie Muley.

JONTY: Dave, as well as Bunyip, where else has Tim McGibney coached, at least two clubs?

DAVE: Frankston and Stingrays?

JONTY: You can have half a point, he hasn’t been at Stingrays. Marcus, who have reigning premiers Noble Park’s three losses been to this season?

MARCUS: East Doncaster, Vermont….East Ringwood?

JONTY: East Ringwood out and Norwood in and you would have had all three. Dave, Matt Soutter Smith is from which Southern League club before arriving at Catani?

DAVE: Got me there, dunno.

JONTY: I ask about him every week and say he’s an ex-Springvale Districts player. Marcus, how many goal kickers does Narre have in the top 20 of the competition?

MARCUS: Will Howe, Tom Toner, Jake Richardson, Kurt Mutimer?

JONTY: No to Kurt, but that might be it…I won’t tell you when you have guessed everyone.

MARCUS: I think there’s one more…Lachie Benson. That’s all.

JONTY: Benson correct, but you’re missing Riley Siwes. Dave, Mason McGarrity leads the Dusties goal-kickers this season – who is next?

DAVE: Kyle Staples.

JONTY: No surprise to see you’ve done your homework on the Dusties. Marcus, what did you label an inspired tactical decision which catalysed Pakenham’s first win?

MARCUS: When they put Bailey Stiles to full forward.

JONTY: Very good. You’ve gotten into a rhythm here, both of you. Taylor Gibson kicked 10 goals against Kooweerup, Dave, what’s the second biggest bag he has?

DAVE: That would be six.

JONTY: Seven. Which Rowville player, Marcus, kicked three last-quarter goals in a close win over Park Orchards?

MARCUS: It’s got to be Lachie Wynd.

JONTY: Correct. Dave, Jafar Ocaa is formerly VFL-listed at which club?

DAVE: Frankston.

JONTY: Yes. Marcus, name five VFL listed players in your competitions.

MARCUS: Blake O’Leary, Lachie Wynd, Joel Smith, Paddy Cross, Cal Verrell.

JONTY: Yes they all are…except Cal Verrell. Who for Nar Nar Goon, Dave, was named among the best in each of the first four weeks and hasn’t been since?

DAVE: Well one of their best players, Trent Armour, played the first four rounds then got injured so I’ll say him.

JONTY: Correct. Marcus. In the same round as the Lachie Wynd last quarter masterclass, Berwick coughed up a 21-point lead against Doncaster. Who was beaten by the bell when he tried to send it inside 50?

MARCUS: I don’t know, I’ll guess Benzhamen Todd?

JONTY: Kyle O’Sullivan is who it was.

MARCUS: That was my next guess.

JONTY: Who did Cora Lynn say in preseason, Dave, they could least afford to lose?

DAVE: That’s a good one. Cory Machaya.

JONTY: Marcus, who’s on top of the OE Reserves ladder?

MARCUS: Emerald.

JONTY: Upwey-Tecoma.

MARCUS: Ohhh, when you said ressies I was thinking Division One.

JONTY: Dave, Daniel Helmore is Garfield’s leading game-player, Where is his new home?

DAVE: Springvale Districts.

JONTY: Correct. Marcus, Berwick’s first win of the season came against who?

MARCUS: Vermont.

JONTY: Dave, last one, which Frankston Football Club player from Beaconsfield is solidifying himself as a goal kicker in the state league?

DAVE: Matt Johnson.

MARCUS: He’s just outside the top five for leading goal kickers in the VFL.

DAVE: He’s very exciting.

JONTY: That’s the end of the quiz. Feedback?

DAVE: We could have called it the ‘grizzly bear quiz’ because there were some very long pause in there which won’t come through when you write it.

MARCUS: I give you so many points for creativity.

DAVE: With every good quiz or competition, there’s a scoreboard. You’ve got a whole heap of numbers written on your exercise book. What’s the result?

JONTY: *adds the numbers together* – 21.5 for Marcus

DAVE: Out of how many?

JONTY: Don’t know, don’t go there. Dave, you finished with 20 points. Marcus, you win, maybe a coffee tomorrow.

AUDIENCE: Dave also had one extra question as well.

DAVE: And did I have any questions where I could get six points? No….ripped off!

JONTY: No it was hard to make it fair and equitable but it was still a fun time.

SUNRISE

JONTY: Just a quick one to finish off. Colleagues would be aware that I was rapt to see David Koch resign as Sunrise host last week – he’s far too old for that role. But we’ve received news that Matt Shirvington will replace him. To me, that’s the wrong decision, but quickly, tell me who you would have picked as your replacement. Must be an ex-sportsperson.

DAVE: What’s wrong with Shirvo?

JONTY: It’s not what’s wrong with him, it’s just that they had better on their books: Matt Doran. It’s an insult he didn’t get the role with his resume.

DAVE: So your suggestion is Doran?

JONTY: Yep.

DAVE: It flies in the face of the name of the topic…ex sportsperson!

JONTY: I’m sure he played sport at one stage in his life. There was no caveat, technically they had to be professional. Of professional sportspeople, my answer would be Todd Woodbridge. Get him back from Nine…the only thing is we wouldn’t hear him during the tennis since Channel Seven doesn’t have the rights.

DAVE: You just said David’s too old…a sentence you’re accustomed to. Todd’s almost as old. Anyway, great subject this one, and I’m going local with my selection: Kooweerup coach Rhys Nisbet. Look, I know it probably wouldn’t sit comfortably with a lot of people out there, but I wouldn’t mind listening to a bit of fruity language first thing in the morning and ‘Roo’ is the master of the art. He doesn’t do it publicly that often, but I think the Rhys Nisbet we see in change rooms prior to a match, when he pumps up his team, would be the perfect version to host Sunrise. But I might need a back-up plan as well, because the dump button might get hit early. If Roo doesn’t last long in the gig then I’m dragging former cricketer Brendan Julian across from Fox Sports. The female audience seems to love him…and they’ve had years of looking at Kochie…so they need a break and a change of scenery!

MARCUS: Admittedly I don’t watch much breakfast TV but I must say, there’s one man I would like to see on my TV screen every morning informing me of the latest news and interviewing celebrities, it’s Warwick ‘The Wiz’ Capper. Just imagine, for example we’ve got someone like Ed Sheeran on the couch to promote his upcoming tour, and from nowhere, the Wiz emerges from off-set to take a CYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAPPPPAAAAAAA on his head. I think the energy he would bring to the set every morning would be enough to make me give up coffee, because his spirit would be the best caffeine shot you could ask for. A Capper-chino, if you like.

DAVE: Whoever it is, I reckon they would keep score when hosting a quiz…still not happy. And speaking of Capper-chino…I owe you a coffee!

MARCUS: Perfect way to finish. Good chat boys, enjoy the long weekend.