If BMW builds the Concept Touring Coupé, it will need an S58 engine

During the Concorso d’Eleganza Villa d’Este in 2023, we learned that BMW is actively considering building 50 production versions of the Concept Touring Coupé. That would mark the official return of the Clown Shoe. However, if built, it will cost more than $250,000 but still use the same B58 engine as the Z4 M40i. And frankly, that’s unacceptable.

According to BMW, the S58 doesn’t really fit and/or work in the Z4. BMW claims to have tried. I’m calling BS. You’re telling me that the S58 engine, which is based on the B58 engine the Z4 already uses and has the same size/displacement, won’t fit in a new clown shoe? To begin with, I don’t believe BMW M, with all its technical capabilities, can’t fit an S58 under the hood. I think the real answer is that BMW doesn’t want to to fit an S58 in the Concept Touring Coupé because it takes some extra cash that it doesn’t want to spend.

For another, what the hell happened to BMW’s sense of spirit and adventure? This is the same company that built the V16-powered (cattle sixteen!) 7 Series just for fun. It cut two V12s into V8s and welded them together to make a V16, then put all the radiator gubbins in the trunk, because they wouldn’t fit under the hood, and made huge rear air scoops for it all. This is also the same company that built a convertible with removable body panels and downward sliding doors.

Let’s not forget the spirit of the original Clown Shoe, which inspired the Concept Touring Sport. The original BMW Z3 M Coupé “Clown Shoe” was not originally a board-approved car. Engineers built it in secret, as a Skunkworks weekend project, because they knew how good it would be. Then, after proving his sensational riding dynamics on the board, he was given the green light and developed. Has the Z3 M Coupé made BMW a lot of money? Probably not. Is it still so honored that a modern reinterpretation of it set the internet ablaze and stole the show at the most prestigious automotive event in the world? Absolute.

BMW needs to stop thinking so logically now and then. I know it’s easy for me to sit in my chair and type these words without any knowledge of the car company’s internal costs and budgets. I get it, it’s different when real dollars and cents are involved. But let’s face it: BMW is one of the largest automakers in the history of the world, it can afford the development dollars to make a Z4 M Coupe with an S58 engine.

If just seeing the Concept Touring Coupé set the internet on fire, can you imagine what a real Clown Shoe recreation would look like? It would sell out in minutes and BMW would immediately get huge cool points from all the car enthusiasts in the world.

Then there are the costs. Does BMW really think it’s acceptable to sell a $60,000 car for $250,000 just because it has a hardtop and a trunk? The Concept Touring Coupé in its current form is mechanically identical to the Z4 M40i. Are customers really going to dump a quarter of a million dollars on a Z4 with a funny hat? Probably rich people are actually crazy. However, if it had an M engine, I guarantee more people will buy it.

All this is to say BMW needs to grow a kit and do cool stuff to do cool stuff again. If BMW makes the Concept Touring Coupé, whatever it’s called, it needs an S58 engine. It should also come with a manual, but I’ll take what I can get at this point.