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‘It’s expanded our world’: Parents tell of joys of adoption and service that brought them together
An adoption service is celebrating its fifth birthday after finding loving homes for almost 400 children.
Adoption Tees Valley (ATV) was formed in 2018, replacing the five local authority adoption agencies in Middlesbrough, Stockton, Hartlepool, Redcar and Cleveland, and Darlington. The past five years have not been easy for ATV as the covid pandemic saw an increase in the number of children taken into care, while the number of potential adoptive parents fell.
However, many happy families have been created since its launch, with 383 children finding their forever families through the service. In honour of the special celebration, families united by adoption have shared how the experience has ‘expanded their world’ and ‘enriched their lives’.
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Of the 383 children that have found their place in the world through ATV, 126 were placed in families alongside their siblings. This means that these children can grow up with their brothers and sisters from their birth families.
Vicky Davidson Boyd, Adoption Tees Valley’s Service Manager, said she was delighted the service had been able to make such a big impact on so many children and young people during its first five years – however more loving homes are needed. “We are really proud of everything we have achieved in the last five years – we have created a community for adopters and future adopters, which we hope to continue for many years to come,” said Vicky.
“Helping children find their forever families is very rewarding, but our work doesn’t stop there. A large part of what we do is providing support to those families for as long as they need us, with a range of different services and support mechanisms. After you adopt, you are not abandoned. We can support you for as long as required with a range of different support services and a dedicated adoption support team.”
Uniting the services across the Tees Valley under one umbrella has enabled a more joined-up approach between the services and has provided better continuity of support for parents. ATV supports parents through the adoption process, from initial assessment, training and matching with suitable children, to then providing ongoing support around a range of areas.
With the focus of adoption now firmly on high-quality services and improving the quality of adoption support, there are now fewer barriers to adoption, and it is simpler and quicker to adopt than ever before. It is much more about circumstances and whether the time is right for individuals, and no one has a better insight than the parents themselves.
“The unconditional love we have for each other is just lovely”
Stockton couple Pete and Phill Stockdale decided to adopt eight years ago in Sheffield after years of agonising over when would be the right time. What they discovered was, there never would be ‘a right time’ and they took the leap – never regretting their decision.
After moving back to Pete’s native Stockton with their sons, brothers Brett, 14, and Aiden, 11, the couple have found the support of ATV a vital ‘lifeline’. The couple, who moved to be closer to Pete’s family, have said that their boys are now happy and confident.
“Adoption Tees Valley has always been in the background for us since we moved back to Teesside,” said Pete.
“They have been a real lifeline with their support while the boys have been growing up. The boys are now happy, confident, and very settled, and the unconditional love we have for each other is just lovely.
“Adoption has enriched our lives and broadened our horizons – it’s expanded our world.”
Pete said, like all families, they had faced challenges along the way, but they always tackled them head-on as a family, and both he and Phill couldn’t imagine life now without Brett, 14, and Aiden, 11.
“Just because you are older or single doesn’t mean you should rule yourself out”
Joanne Vayro, 47, a long-time foster carer from Hartlepool, was one of the first people to adopt through ATV when she adopted her son, Harvey, now five. She had fostered numerous children from all backgrounds over a 15-year period, so there was nothing unusual when Hartlepool Borough Council placed Harvey with her at three weeks old.
She initially thought her role would be the same as previously; she would provide love, care and safety for Harvey for a few months until he could be placed back with his birth family or adopted. However, Harvey had additional medical needs and had to undergo major surgery when he was just a few months old, and the pair developed an unbreakable bond.
Joanne, who already had a grown-up family, explained “I just fell in love with him. I was worried about where Harvey would be placed once his placement with me finished; I knew he would be loved but I was worried someone else would not fully understand his medical needs.
“I knew what Harvey needed and we had become so attached, so the decision was quite easy. Adopting Harvey was the best outcome for both him and me.”
Joanne has since gone on to adopt a second child, Harriet, aged two, and has said that Adoption Tees Valley has been ‘brilliant and so supportive. She is keen to quash the notion that older, single people can’t adopt.
She added: “Adoption can be for anyone; just because you are older or single doesn’t mean you should rule yourself out. I didn’t think I would be a mam again at 42, but it’s truly amazing.”
“It won’t be easy, but parenting never is”
Simon and Ellen Cross already had a little girl of their own when they got in touch with Adoption Tees Valley. The couple, who live in a village south of Middlesbrough, were eager for another child but decided to consider adoption after two failed rounds of IVF.
They got in touch with Middlesbrough Council and were pointed in the direction of the newly formed Adoption Tees Valley. Within a year, they had been introduced to the baby girl that would become their second daughter, and six years on, life is good.
Ellen explained: “Adoption has brought so much to our lives. We have expanded our family and now we get to enjoy experiencing everything together and watching her grow and achieve her goals. It has even changed my life as I’m now a volunteer and part of the adoption panel. It is really rewarding.
“Anyone thinking of adoption should remember that, at times, it won’t be easy, but parenting never is. And all children are different, adopted or not. If you come across issues, don’t be afraid to reach out for help. Adoption Tees Valley provides so much support and is just a phone call away.”
Simon and Ellen’s youngest daughter, who is now seven, has a full, happy life. She is excelling in reading, and loves swimming, music, going to Beavers and horse riding.
She does have some problems with her gross motor skills, but the family has found activities, like horse riding, are improving her core strength. The pair were keen to let prospective adopters know not to overwhelm themselves with research when thinking about the process, but rather speak to someone with first hand experience.
Adoption Tees Valley offers drop-in information sessions about adoption for those who are just thinking about going through the process. For those who have adopted they offer support groups for the parents and children as well as family days, formal training sessions, and therapeutic services, many of which are used by families across the Tees Valley area.
ATV is currently looking for loving homes for 11 children. There are four sibling groups of two children, an older child, and children with additional needs all looking for their forever families. With the cost of living crisis, some people may feel the time is not right for them to adopt and bring children into their home, but Vicky said how well-off people were was not a factor in how suitable they were for adoption.
She said: “It isn’t important how big your house is, if you own or rent, or what job you do; if you’re over 21 and can offer a loving, stable home to a child, you may make an ideal adoptive parent,” said Vicky.
“Above anything else, children need love, care, stability and understanding. So many of our children have experienced difficult times, and lots of uncertainty.
“What they need is time and attention – the material things don’t matter, but some allowances may be payable, depending on the needs of the child.”
Since 2018, ATV has helped families access over £2 million worth of adoption support through the Adoption Support Fund.
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